Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you 
And I lie awake and miss you 
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere 

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly 
But I'll miss your arms around me 
I'd send a postcard to you, dear 
'Cause I wish you were here 

I'll watch the night turn light-blue 
But it's not the same without you 
Because it takes two to whisper quietly 

The silence isn't so bad 
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad 
'Cause the spaces between my fingers 
Are right where yours fit perfectly 

I'll find repose in new ways 
Though I haven't slept in two days 
'Cause cold nostalgia 
Chills me to the bone 

But drenched in vanilla twilight 
I'll sit on the front porch all night 
Waist-deep in thought because 
When I think of you I don't feel so alone 

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone 

As many times as I blink 
I'll think of you tonight 
I'll think of you tonight 

When violet eyes get brighter 
And heavy wings grow lighter 
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again 

And I'll forget the world that I knew 
But I swear I won't forget you 
Oh, if my voice could reach 
Back through the past 
I'd whisper in your ear 
Oh darling, I wish you were here

I was pondering something in my head and decided to ask someone other than myself... Does one little sentence really matter that much? Can it change your life forever? Change everything you ever thought was possible, what was right? When you’re teetering on the brink of destruction, can one phrase really make you or break you as they say? Which of the many infinite possibilities of lines that could be said or even read are the ones that can do this? And who would have the courage to do so, all the while knowing that it could change someone forever? Can you answer me? Anyone? Or at least ponder it yourself...make me feel a little less like a lunatic? About a month ago I was given one phrase that has definitely changed my ENTIRE life. “You need help, Madi…and you are going to Fairfax.” I never expected that one phrase would ever have such an affect on me. But here’s how I have changed: I now have a phobia of cameras (like video cameras in banks and stores and stuff…not picture taking ones) and frosted windows. I also absolutely hate fog (because you can’t see things through the window…or at least not clearly…). I have a new pair of pants from a girl who was there. I officially don’t care whether or not I do my hair or make-up (even though I still do it). I am probably mentally and emotionally scarred for life and am probably worse off than I was to start with. I no longer own a razor blade. I no longer have texting…or for that matter, a phone. I have way less freedoms and my mom wont let me hang with my only best friends, Emily, Amanda, and Alyssa because they might be a bad influence on me, because I’m fragile (AAAHHHHHH!!!!!). And I have met the most amazing person ever and I may be falling in love with him. Exept for the last part...I kinda want to say: "SOMEONE SHOOT ME!".

woooooowwwwwwwwww...

OK so lots to tell u.... i broke up with jordan i got a new phone i had an awesome choir concert i started going out with Sam :) i had another choir concert i ran away from home i went home again i missed tolo :( i tried to kill myself i was admitted to Fairfax mental hospital i met an amazing guy there and an amazing girl too i discharged i was a wreck i got a puppy and here i am. happy holidays everybody! fill you in on the details later! gotta go Christmas shopping! :) new cell phone!

what up, YO-gurt

ummm...so...I broke it off with Chris. I realized the worst possible thing you can realize when in a relationship... I like him like a friend. And now we're just friends as we truly were...uhh...meant to be. oh well....life goes on, right? At least I've been haveing the best luck ever1 NOT I lost the good eyeliner, my jelly bracelets got stolen, and so did a $20 bill that was my mom's...not to mention that lastnight, a sophomore guy that I really liked told me that, because he's Chris' best friend, for his sake, we should just be friends... It will pass though... I hope. *gulp*

yuck.

I just got spacers....great. Time to go to dance with my mom!